What Does It Mean to Gaslight Someone?

To gaslight someone means to make them doubt their sense of reality.

To gaslight someone means to make them doubt their sense of reality. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation commonly seen in abusive relationships. It is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser bullies the victim about their judgment or perception of reality. The victim finally starts to doubt their credibility. Toxic people commonly use this technique to influence and exert power over their friends, family members, or even coworkers. The gaslighting effect is a gradual process occurring in stages.

The different tactics of gaslighting involve:

1. Lying or exaggerating the lie: The abusers may blatantly lie to the victim’s and would stick to it even if the truth is just the opposite. They would never change their stories and would also provide proof to justify their lie.
2. Discrediting the victim to others: The abusers would spread rumors and gossips about the victim to others. They would make others believe that there is something wrong with the victim and the mental status of the victim isn’t right. Then the abuser would make you think that others are spreading rumors about the victim’s mental instability.
3. Defecting blame: When the victim questions the gaslighter or the abuser about something they did, the gaslighter tends to change the topic instead of responding to the issue. They may even crop stories up to put the blame on their victim.
4. Minimizing the victim’s thoughts and feelings: If the victim gets to hear statements like “calm down,” “you are overreacting,” or “why are you so sensitive?” then be sure that the gaslighter is trying to overpower the victim by trivializing the victim’s emotions.
5. Shifting the blame to the victim: Blaming the victim is a common tactic of all the gaslighters. The gaslighters make the victim culprit for all their bad behavior.
6. Denying wrongdoing: They deny any wrongdoings to avoid taking responsibility for their poor choices, which could leave the victim frustrated and in deep pain.
7. Using compassionate words as a weapon: The gaslighters try to deceive the victim by kind words. They may use sentences like “you know how much I love you” or “I would never hurt you on purpose” to reinforce their manipulative behavior. The victim thinks that things are not that bad, and it is they who overreact. This makes the victim believe their gaslighter even more.
8. Twisting and reframing conversations: The gaslighters are experts in reframing the conversation to their favor, which may make the victim doubt their memory because the stories and memories are continuously told favoring the gaslighters.